


Candlelight

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:50:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5932255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "The Second Meeting" from Remus' POV.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candlelight

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Remus lit the bedside candle with a flick of his fingers. An entire day had passed and dusk had come while they'd rested. He stretched and yawned a bit, but otherwise was content to lie quietly in Sirius' arms while the other man continued to breathe regularly in sleep. 

He smiled. His eyes drifted to Sirius' face and were caught. He finally told himself he'd go blind if he stared much longer, but still didn't stop. This was the face he'd thought about for so long, at first with angry bitterness, then with terrible longing. 

Remus reached out, hand lightly hovering over the thin features. Sirius breathed in sharply at his movement, but didn't wake, sighing deeply as he stilled. Carefully, Remus pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"I love you," he whispered, then returned to his watching, trying to take in every detail he could. 

Sirius' arm lay on his waist, welcome, though Remus remembered sadly at just how much weight had been lost; the ribs could be counted. He must get more food in him. 

There were scars on the, thin chest that he hadn't seen before. The wounds had not been treated as they should have been and the marks left behind stood out against the white skin. Remus' heart hurt at the thought of Sirius in pain.

In his slumber, Sirius brought him closer, his embrace around Remus becoming tight and tenacious. Remus clung back. 

How badly he wanted to make up the time they had lost. Both of them had been young when Sirius has been taken, not even twenty-five. 

But no matter what they did, they would never retrieve those lost years. 

Never. The old futile rage threatened to rise from below, coming sharply to the surface, wanting to free itself of the restaints he'd placed on it. But what good would that do? It would change nothing. Better to stay in the now, bury the darkness and treasure the moment, treasure him. 

"Sirius," Remus whispered.

He kissed his lover's forehead, reassuring himself of his presence. Shut his eyes as he focused on the idea: Sirius with him again, holding tight onto him even now. It brought him a gradual serenity, and he was glad; he did not want to waste more of their time on self-pity. Too much of it had been taken already, and there was another here who needed comfort more than he. He retucked the covers around his companion.

Dear Sirius. Remus doubted he'd ever comprehend what he'd had to go through in that prison, and afterwards. A different brand of hell from his own. Another manner of slow pain.

He didn't want to let him out of this bed, this room, this house. He wanted to keep him safe forever. Never let Sirius go and never be alone again. Remus twined a lock of black hair around his finger. The feel of his lover's skin against his own was something he couldn't get enough. 

He had to have more. To hear his voice, to see his eyes, to make him smile...

"Sirius?" Remus nudged him with his chin.

"Mmm?"

"Paddy?"

Sirius slowly opened his eyes. "'m 'wake."

Remus looked at the tired expression in front of him, and sighed. "I'm sorry. I just wanted...to see you." Remus untwirled the black lock, then began encircling it round his finger again. "I shouldn't have woken you."

"Far worse things to wake up to than you." Sirius gave him a faint smile. 

Remus studied him. Sirius was blinking sleepily at him, but otherwise did appear quite awake. It was so wonderful to see him, alive, moving, talking, and **here** with him. Right where he belonged. 

Sirius cleared his throat. "We've been asleep all day?" he asked, then started squeezing him all over. Remus laughed as much from gladness as from the ticklish touches.

"Do you want to get me excited?" he playfully scolded. 

Sirius stopped his caresses, considering.

"Yes, I want to get you excited. I want to get **me** excited. I want --" A long yawn broke him off. "I want to get us both mutually excited."

Remus nodded in agreement, and hugged him again.

"I also wouldn't mind a little something to eat," Sirius added.

Remus remembered his previous intention to fill out his lover's too-thin body. He brushed a kiss on Sirius' forehead. "I'll go see what I can find." 

He'd hardly moved to leave the bed when Sirius grabbed his wrist. "No. Wait. Don't go." Sirius held him against his chest. 

Remus, staring up into his beautiful eyes, found himself quickly roused. From the look on Sirius' face, Remus knew he was aware of it. He attempted to curl up. 

"What are you doing?" 

"I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. About you not --"

"Yeah." Sirius glanced away. "... well, I was hoping... maybe we could try it again."

"Are you sure?"

"No." Sirius gave him a smile that didn't completely conceal his nervousness. "But let's try." 

Remus gaze at him intently.

"Please, Moony. I want to make you happy." 

"I'm happy enough just having you here," he replied truthfully. He nuzzled Sirius on the cheek. "You're not feeling anything, are you?" he asked softly.

Sirius flushed, but gazing into his eyes, Remus saw his determination. "I want to try, Moony" he repeated stubbornly, tracing a fingertip along his face. "I want to please you at least."

He nodded silently, allowing himself to become pliant as Sirius pushed him back on the bed. The bedclothes were pulled off, leaving them both exposed to the cool air. Partly from the cold, partly from his need, Remus trembled as Sirius came closer, hands caressing his arms and chest. 

"No, don't move," Sirius whispered when his body jerked in response. "Let me make this good for you." 

He kissed him once, then stroked his lips with his tongue, asking invitation. Another kiss, this one long and exploring. Both were breathless when Sirius broke it off to nip at his neck and ears, lifting himself on his forearms to kiss the rest of him. Collarbone, shoulders... "Don't move."

Remus was excited with the restraint his lover demanded; muscles contracting with the trails traced on his skin by those talented fingers, by that marvelous mouth, by the long, black hair that tickled his body.

"God, I love you," Sirius murmured as he went downward. "And you haven't forgotten, have you? You know how much I enjoy making you like this, unable to talk, unable to say a word. My beautiful..."

Remus couldn't help it now, he **had** to move, had to, eagerly sliding himself into that warm wetness. He'd missed this, missed him. His silence broke, but no words, just soft gasps and moans as his body gave itself to the long-lost pleasure.

He glimpsed Sirius looking up at him, the shining candlelight reflected in his eyes. If only he could talk while caught like this! He wanted to let Sirius know how much he meant to him. He managed to lay a hand on the black hair before sinking back on the bed. Almost there...

Heavy breathing and the sound of Sirius' tasting him. The gentle motion of the bed as they moved. The feel of the sheet beneath him, moist with perspiration. 

Then Sirius briefly let go of him, opening his mouth to speak. "Moony, come," he ordered huskily, taking hold of him again, sucking harder.

"Oh!" Remus exclaimed, and obeyed.

Sirius swallowed, continuing to seek more even after Remus lay still. Remus watched Sirius lick him clean, returned his smile when he finished. Slithering up next to him, Sirius enveloped him in his arms. Thin as they were, the strength with which he was held more than made up for it. He tucked his face in the curve of Sirius' neck.

A brief quiet. Then Remus felt his lover give a sigh. After a moment, he glanced at Sirius, whose forehead was slightly furrowed. 

"Well, I felt **something** anyway."

Remus shook his head. "There's no hurry. I don't intend to let you go, you know." He squeezed Sirius' hand. 

He was studied by the pale eyes. 

"I don't intend to, either," came the reply at last. Stretching slowly, Sirius stared at the covered window. By the candlelight, Remus saw the grimness that came upon his features. "There is so much to do," he added, almost to himself.

Remus felt it as darker thoughts came back to Sirius, his lover's body tensing against him. 

If only it had never happened... if so many things had never occurred. 

He remembered the first time they had expressed their feelings for each other. He had been so angry, angry at James and Lily for wanting to find someone for Sirius, angry at the idea of Sirius even being with someone. 

But then Sirius had told him; stumbling words of love and a clumsy kiss.

Everything had been so new and perfect...

"Sirius?" he said suddenly.

The abstracted look vanished, the stiffness eased as Sirius' attention returned to him. "Yes, Moony?" 

Remus sat up. "We won't let them come between us, not this time."

"No. Never again." Sirius took his face in his hands. 

"Paddy..." Remus smiled contentedly at him at the end of the long, satisfying kiss. 

Then a small frown as his stomach rumbled. "I suppose we should go eat since we're both hungry."

His lover nodded reluctantly, letting Remus go and watching as he got out of bed. He followed suit in the donning of bathrobes; borrowed in his case and thus too short for him, but Remus thought him the most beautiful sight the world could give.

He eased back into Sirius' arms. "I love you. Don't ever forget it."

Sirius gazed down at him and smiled, his expression a mixture of affection and sadness. "I won't, Remus."


End file.
